Date: Thursday, May 15, 1997 6:15 PM
Alone, ever alone such a sweet things, the aloofness which springs from not understanding that which you are She smiled, tempting the memories to come.
'Canth.. you are shirking your duties again ''but why must I do this?' Mother smiled slightly, ruffling the dark, ever tousled mass atop her head. 'To be a great leader, one must have respect for those one protects never forget this.' 'yes mother I will remember'
Chains rattled uncomfortably against her neck and wrists, chaffing deeply, much more than just mere bindings, for they were silver. 'You are not doing as you were told, Little One.' 'yes Mistress.' The pale form smiles, feigning affection in the only way she knew how. She nestled against Canth's neck and slowly stroked her face with calm fingers. The touch.. so intoxicating Days were lost from such an embrace, but Canth never remembered. Once more unto the flame Soft, drowning voice 'what was I told to do ' Warm caresses, delicate tongue of pain. Falling at her feet, looking up through matted, sweat plastered bangs Canth did not notice the clink of silver as she lay there gasping. The Mistress giggled softly, kneeling down to brush the hair out of her face. 'It is not important, Little One, but be more aware of what I ask never forget.' 'yes Mistress I will remember.'
And the list of dissatisfied voiced grew, swelling within, consuming, tormenting, taunting What am I? She turned to ask the ever present birds, swooping just out of reach. They tittered so Canth wondered if she'd fed them, or if she'd forgotten
Buzzing, buzzing, twittering birds insistent chirruping, more words, listening to the hum of their wings beat lightly against her brain. And the mice small frail sinuous, chewing, knawing What is there left to consume, little ones? She reached out distractedly and tried to snare one of the interrupting aviary adversaries. She was not surprised when she caught nothing but nothingness. Entropy for entropy's sake. I am nothing if not nothing
A waking dream thoughts, more felt than herd. Tormented whispering, echoes of voids. Someone, somewhere was calling her madness
Fitful, frightful daymares
Mommy mommy Memommie? mommie? tame the flittering flutterings of my pain vile ministrations of this bane lost to lucidity, never sane child of Gaia, or childe of Caine?
Perpetual penitence the price
To childe I pass voracious vicewhat light through yonder window breaks; why, tis the sun once done can never be undone mere reflections in a glass crack the vision, first becomes last
Waking, frightened silhouette -
"You will find your answers, yet."
"Sire?" ::whimper, anguish, need::
Fading echo "Time to feed "unknown urgings, unknown deed Why does this happen to me, mommie? I feel such stirrings, and it moves through me never given in Tell me of what I am, that I might understand I hear your words through this haze of confusion and still I wander my passion has gone and flown away She cocked her head and listened to the timid thrum of hummingbird wings. Only the pretty kitty knows Mommie? Don't scream so mommie I can hear you in the back of my brain, crawling amidst the debris Ransack the thoughts, turn them inside out, make them our own. I hunt for you, mommie you told me to remember; I will not forget. There is no forgiveness in forever; I shall not repent.
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