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From: Clint Martin. e-mail FangsNfeet@yahoo.com
Camarilla Jokes by Jimmy Styx The comedian Brujah of Huntsville TX
The Nos: The first time I have seen one of these motherfuckers I thought "God Damn these sons of bitches are never again going to get laid." But these stinky sewer rats get laid more easily than you think. After all, check out how slimy they are. Instant lubrication my friends. No need of foreplay. Just slide the big dog in and it's like tossing a hot dog down a hallway. Just make sure you have a close pin on that bitch's nose.
Our artistic Toreador: Hmmm, let's see. Often I hear them called Toreawhores. Jesus Fucking Christ! Do we have to be that mean to the artsy faggot sluts? I would go with Toreadork or even Toreaboring. Just don't grab my ass or I will make you Toreasore. Learn the commandment "EXIT ONLY!" Anyways keep doing that Keeper job. There's a broom in the closet.
Hey Malks: What the fuck are you loons smoking? Nothing, that's the problem. You guys need more humans on mental medication for meals. Maybe that can help you. However, we don't blame you. I understand how the Twilight Show and the Matrix can fuck with your paranoid schitzo minds. However, it's okay. The Nos will soon be leaving in there space ships and they ain't coming back.
The Gangrel: Let me tell you the story. Spot ran away from home. He didn't have fun playing fetch with Timmy. Spot found a new friend named Sabbat who gave more flee baths and table scraps. "Spot come back! Please come back to the CAM!" cries Timmy. Oh, Timmy's at home, waiting for when the sabbat car hits you after crossing the road. Yeah he's waiting with a shovel to bury that back turning flee bitten mutt. It made Timmy sad when you went ran away to Sabbat and decided play with the big dogs that howl at the moon. You had better start digging for cats and rats in trash cans because I’m not giving you any more of my table scraps. You know while they where members, the Gangrel kept saying that we Brujah frenzy more easily than others. Now that's bullshit. I've seen these motherfuckers frenzy more times than the Tazmania Devil chasing Bugs Bunny with there little paws and claws. I bet the first Gangrel founder was an embraced lupine. It's best that you did leave you God Damn abominations.
Squirmy Setites: Why snakes? I can see rats and bats but snakes? Why not cats? Do you Egyptian folk still worship cats? Oh, come now. Even I bow when I see a good pussy. Hiss and piss hiss and piss. Oh, that's really has me scared. I'll charm your scaly hissing asses right out of here. Do da do do do, Do da do da do da doo. Go back to Egypt, Hattie, or where ever you fucks come from. You want to live in the US? Then speak like an American snake and grow a fucking rattle on you ass. I'm sure a Toredawhore oops; I mean Dore will gladly stick one up there for you. Just know that Mummy and Zombie babble is all bullshit. We kindred are the undead that walk the earth.
Ventrue: Money, Power, and Leadership. This translates to we have control your money, suck you dry like a leach, and tell you what to do. Gee, who would have thought that kindred society has accountants?
Erie Tremere: What little pagan group will you come up with next? New age freaks. God Damn you need a bitch slapping. Didn't your mammas tell you not to play with your food? What do you do with all that blood anyways? Are you clotting up the drops to use them as spit wads to fight with in this Jyhad? Yeah that's really going to work. Go on keep looking at me all scary with your little vials of blood. Sadistic devil advocates.
My clan Brujah: Well we are tough, rough, crude, rude, and mean fighting machines. Do you other clans have a fucking problem with that? It's the pissed off attitude that gets the job done right the first time. To think you other clans would have figured that out by now. Now there is some talk that our clan is breaking apart. However, our clan isn't getting weak. These so called True Brujah are nothing but pansy wannabe toreaboring faggots. What happened to you motherfuckers? Did the Dali Lama enlighten you with peace and harmony bull shit? Well go on with your literary crap. The REAL Brujah will stay in power and no fucking talk of being peaceful and understanding is going to change it. You got that motherfuckers?
Well thanks for your time my kindred. Now let's get back to our political bullshit. Time to listen to the vas wisdom of our elders. Thank you, thank you, thank you. If it does not move then why bite it?